And so we are in 2008, where My Chemical Romance – Cemetery Drive was still a recurring song in my life. I did no longer listen to death metal but CONFIDENCE LEVELS WERE MINUS 100 x INFINITY. The feels.
One of my sisters was invited to join Elite Models, and since she was underage and my parents were busy, I had to go with her to do all the hands shaking, sign the signatures, question the questions and just be your overall embarrassing family member which I’m very good at.
When her new manager looked at me and said how the big sister was also beautiful, I had the hardest time digesting that compliment. I was in a point of my life where I had settled for less for everything. My life, work, relationships. The head booker then proceeded to ask me if I ever thought about getting into modelling, but it was so hard for me to sit there and listen to that nonsense. I waved my hands in front of my face (the japanese way) denying it and said how far I’m from being pretty or anything close.
I don’t think they noticed, but I felt this overwhelming sadness and shame, with my eyes getting watery because the FEELS were arriving to the party uninvited. In my head I was just simply not part of this surreal world of gene pool lottery.
They told to me take care of my skin (even more), my skin color (to avoid getting tanned), let my eyebrows and hair go back to natural and come back in 4-6 months to see them again.
Right before that deadline, I was randomly introduced to a scouter from Tokyo who invited me to attend a 2 days modelling workshop over the weekend. After the last day, only 3 girls were invited to sign with their agency and I was one of them. It all happened in August, and it happened really fast. I shot my first portfolio with them and immediately started going to Tokyo for castings. My boss from my company back home was kind enough to let me take the day off and travel to Tokyo, but I would always come back the day after and work 10 times harder just so I could keep earning those day offs.
Finally in October, when I was contemplating moving to Tokyo to give this strange thing called modelling a try, I scored my fist short-term contract overseas. I took off to Bangkok, Thailand – home to a huge TV commercial market, and that’s how my career started.
I wish I could tell the “My Chemical Romance me” how my life would drastically change, or how someone with so little confidence would be forced to work with some of the most
handsome talented stars in Asia over the next years, but it would’ve sounded like a bad Young Adult fiction novel plot.
Hi Vivian. Hi Godfrey. Hi Siwon.
So, does it mean I made it safely into the modeling indrustry?
It never got easier! Only harder.
The journey begins.