When I came to realize how serious things really were, it was already too late. I was 10kg heavier, with my skin and my menstrual cycle going absolutely nuts. Ashamed, defeated, depressed, lifeless.
My whole lifestyle, sleep patterns and diet changed when I started modelling, a natural adjustment to the fast-paced unstable schedule model life. But I also come from a family were nobody exercises or gain weight, and the lack of health knowledge, limits and just plain careless mindset played a crucial role on what happened to me after 1 year deep into modelling.
And definitely TAIWAN.
My agency in Taipei had a terrible rule of measuring the models every Friday after work. They were very strict, and being 0,5kg* or 1cm* out of the ideal measurements/weight allowed them to play a harsh psychological game on us. I saw my teenage roommates stop eating on Thursdays and not even drinking water on Friday just so that they could pass the measuring patrol thingy. I too went on the most stupid diets, ran with inappropriate shoes desperate to get that skeleton skinny legs and walked up 14 stairs up to the agency office (in high heels) because they told me to avoid the elevator. How damaging these habits can be?
I went back to Bangkok for a new contract when my skin started to break out really really really really but really bad. My agency was fuming. I had to go through a few extremely humiliating email exchanges between the local agency and my mother agent on how I looked hideous and disgusting. “Is she even a model?”. I went to the hospital and was told that having oily and acne-prone skin is normal until your 30′s (OK), then suggested to do a couple of laser $$$$sessions and it would go away in no time. (Which never happened. I was desperate tho). But then suddenly I started to gain A LOT of weight, so I had to step back.
I flew back to Taiwan, and started seeing a bunch of doctors with my friends help, until I was finally diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). It was a hormones havoc nightmare. It didn’t sound very good.
It was my first career set back, I had to drop everything and hide. I even stopped looking myself in the mirror.
Suddenly the magazines and commercial days seemed so far away.
Time to do some maintenance.
part 2 coming soon.
*I’m sorry, I still can’t figure out pounds and inches.