FINAL Chapter 6 : The big purge. 8 months in Purgatory

   Haro friends. It’s been a while.

   It’s time to finally catch up on some more recent stories. Are you ready for more drama? Can I get a hell yeah? woop woop**

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**please don’t feel bad or sorry for me. I wanna show you how life is great but sometimes not exactly a bed of roses, and awful things comes to those who deserve it (JUST KIDDING, I am JUST KIDDING).

   So, after my adventures in Taipei and this, I relocated to Bangkok, Thailand, at the end of the year to keep working as a model but focusing more on acting/TV Commercials jobs. Bangkok is a thriving media/film production hub and it’s also fun. It was calling me back.

   Following my PCOS (link) diagnosis, I stayed on birth control pills for years and learned how to coexist with it. That was until one of my visits to a doctor in Bangkok took me by surprise. After a check up she asked me multiple times how I was diagnosed exactly, and asked for all details about it because apparently there was ZERO trace of PCOS on my body, and it seemed like I have never had suffered from it. NADA. Nopety nothing. So after consulting her, I decided to go off BC (glad I did)(<-link)

   I dived into nutrition, exercise and what not. I’m always very curious and god bless google.com for existing, everything is one research away. I read a number of different health approaches, articles, books(Woman’s code, Leaking Gut, Paleo, Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Ovolacto), natural products, natural skin care, supplements, detoxing, superfoods, alkaline body. PHEW! There’s more. Organic eating, alternative medicine (Reiki, Acupuncture), mega-informative podcasts (Joe Rogan, Dave Asprey’s Bulletproof Diet, some other paleo stuff), learned how to fast and learned about Ketosis. I was on the Bulletproof Diet lifestyle for quite a while, and even mentioned it on some of my Instagram posts. But due to the high fat content with butter stuff, I would always break out.

   In fact, I never stopped breaking out even after being on birth control pills. My skin was always alright but never AWESOME. I quit dairy for the longest I can remember because I thought that was it, and it wasn’t. My diet was so clean, I was active, I was healthy, making smart choices, but sometimes out of nowhere…boom. I could count how many weeks/months out of a whole year I had a good skin. It was exhausting and frustrating, specially while having to work WITH your face.

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(photo: a week before the story below)

   2014. Last year in July, I was coming back from my last photoshoot in town before going back to Japan. I remeber in the morning my skin being fine, but half way through the shooting I noticed it wasn’t smooth anymore. After a long time being fine. Could it be allergy? I was intrigued.

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I started documenting it.

  • September in Brazil:
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   It was only getting worse. I thought changing environment would help. Nope. During August in Japan, I met a highly spiritual person/healer who worked with herbs and gave me a whole bunch of tree barks, dried leaves, flowers to brew and drink each thing 5 times a day. He was magical and he smelled like sandalwood. He told me I was already cured. 

   I finished the 1 month supply of tea in Brazil, but nothing changed. I wasn’t feeling like visiting my friends or showing up at my moms restaurant. I just wanted to stay home and play with the dogs. I visited some other place in my hometown and they told me I had to detox my blood. More teas. I also visited a gynecologist for exams and definitely no PCOS or hormonal imbalances.

  • end of September -October in LA:
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   I arrived in LA. My friends were in shock. WHAT THE HELL was going on? Everyone told me to stay in the States for a bit just to deal with this and not worry about anything else. From different group of friends, they were all so wonderful and loving, commited to help (inlcuding myself), but nothing was working. I tried products from Dr. Murad and visited the spa. I was told it was a no brainer. I visted one of those Beverly Hills dermatologists who promised me the gates of heaven, but for a salty price of xxxxUSD. Nope. Nope. Nope. Still not working. I got really depressed around this time.

   I once had a mini-emotional breakdown when I was in OC spending time with my friend Caren. It’s hard when you’ve been battling for so long and each glance in the mirror reminds you that everything looks absolutely out of control.

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   But I wasn’t going to give up. My name is Patricia! Which acording to Urbandictionary.com means “beautiful, tall, smart, brunnete that likes to party. Usually friends with a blonde.” 

   Anyway. I switched from antibiotics to Traditional Chinese Medicine. It was a fantastic doctor who helped healing a serious condition of a friend of mine and have been taking care of her whole family ever since. His wise wrinkly face told me I had too much heat on my stomach and lungs, and that my pressure was too low. He gave me a list of do’s and dont’s (no cold food, ice cream, spices, certain meats). I took expensive Uber trips every week to see him from West Hollywood all the way to Alhambra.

  • November-December in LA:
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   I was so happy to be treated in the most natural, holistic way, being a huge fan of chinese medicine myself. But it was almost too much to handle. It was too slow recovery for my liking. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore.

   Some days were pathetic.

   Some others, it was ok:

  • January in LA:
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January in Arizona:

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   It was time to leave. 

   I grabbed what was left from my chinese medicine bags and went back to Bangkok. But as soon as I got back, I realized I couldn’t afford spending any more time trying to get myself out of this misery. I ran some blood tests, hormonal levels, and checked to see if I was still ok and I was.

   So I pondered over what I thought it was right or wrong, wrote on a paper and spit on it. 

   I took a drastic decision which I have been avoiding since my teenage days. I went on an 3 months 10mg ROACCUTANE treatment + twice a day antibiotics.

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LIVER POISON! DEPRESSION! MENTAL PROBLEMS! Everyone shouted.

   Luckily for me the only side effect I had was extremely dry lips, and not being able to drink alcohol beverages.

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   Today, I can eat anything I want, use any brand/products on my face without breaking out almost simultaneously. Matter of fact, I haven’t broken out since I finished the treatment. It’s amazing!

   EVERYDAY IS SO AWESOME! IS LIFE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS GREAT?

   GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. Not the other way around.

   This is the story of how I miraculously cured my PCOS, food sensitivities, expelled life long demons and finally started to live like a real WOMAN, not a slave of my appearance. Send me questions.

snapchat: patty_nk

ig: pattynk

email: info@skin-careme.com

Chapter 5. Photoshoots and PCOS part 2. (got tea? bear with me, this is a long one)

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    So…what was that? What is PCOS?

   “PCOS is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, also known as Stein-Leventhal Syndrome, and is one of the most common hormonal endocrine disorders in women” (source: pcosfoundation.org) Symptoms varies from irregular menstrual cycles/periods to weight gain/difficulty losing weight, cysts on the ovaries (multiple), hair loss, anxiety etc.

   The most popular treatment is through drugs or birth control pills (my case), although bc pills only masks the symptoms and doesn’t heal your body. >>I will come back to this in the future.

   The recovery was emotionally and physically draining, with severe pain every other week. I kept my skin care regimen minimal, I only wore baggy clothes, played games, read books and avoided talking to my family for a bit just so that my mom wouldn’t stress worrying about me, specially overseas. 

   One good thing that happened to me is that it was during this hard time that I first heard about TCM(Traditional Chinese Medicine) and Acupuncture as an alternative treatment to illness and unbalances, but I didn’t use them on my favor this time.

   And 2-3 months after what it felt like forever, everything was under control again. I had some scars from the intense breaking up, but I felt way better and was also naturally back to my modelling weight and shape. My manager was happy when she saw me and asked me to move back to the city ASAP and start going to castings and working again. I was so excited and happy to be back.

  Right on the spot I booked the very first casting I went to after my come back. 

me: Yay good times are back! 

life: – HAHAHAHA actually, not too fast

STOP. I HATE ACTUALLYS

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   It was early in the morning, me and a Brazilian male model getting ready to shoot a gazillion of clothes for a catalogue. The make up artists was doing my make up when she stopped and went to get the clients, who has already seen me personally the other day. She started  complaining about me while pointing at me. They were getting louder, standing right behind me looking through the mirror with VERY NOT HAPPY faces. Damn, it was my scars. At one point there were at least 8-10 people there, just looking at me and talking. The make up artists asked me to switch with the male model, and promptly started doing his hair and make up (yes you heard it, guys wear make up for photoshoots).

   After this, everyone simply stopped talking to me. I sat there on the couch waiting, waiting, waiting…. 

   I didn’t know what to do so I decided to ask someone from the team if everything was ok, when she answered me in chinese basically something like: “Dafuq you want?” even though we were speaking english before.

   I texted my booker and told her what just happened, when I saw the booker herself entering the warehouse with 4 models from my agency, everyone in high heels holding their books. 

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  They were kicking me out and holding a last minute casting to replace me. 

  They chose a japanese girl from my agency, and my booker coldly asked me to get my stuff and to leave my high heels so the other model could wear it on the photoshoot.

   I can’t describe the feeling of shame, anger and sadness I felt. I was angry at them and at me at the same time. I couldn’t even see properly where my bag was because I was already crying. I walked past everyone towards the exit just like a ghost pretty much invisible. 

  I walked outside where our driver was waiting and just bursted in tears. My booker and the rest of the models came after in silence and got in the car. No pad on the back. The booker was very brief and told me to stop crying soon because we were on the way to 4 castings. ARE YOU FUCKING* SERIOUS? (*swearing was necessary)

  Long story short, I booked 2 out of the 4 castings we went to, and the clients were very clear that my skin wasn’t an issue.

 This episode went straight to my archive of “Days That Crushed Me Into Pieces”, “Therapy Required” but also in the subcategory of: (press play below)

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***All photos on this posts were from photoshoots right after I came back to work. Do I look like I just visited Crapland? Luckily I got super busy after that day, schedule always fully booked and became a regular on countless magazines. 

“Illness is a calling”